I may skip today’s Monday Morning Brief, I had more fun creating predictions.  Tried not to get too carried away but I couldn’t help myself.

Better Church Attendance - As fear of recession grows and Americans have less disposable income, church attendance, participation, giving (among other things) will rise. Partially will be because many will have fewer distractions that they can afford and partially also because many will need the church community and their belief in God to move forward.

McCain will produce, write and star in a documentary called, “Inopportune Actuality:  I told you so about nuclear Iran” and will achieve a Gore-like status.  He will back on The Daily Show where we will hear Jon kidding with John about what happened in 2008.  (Stewart has already joked about how much cooler McCain is after the election.  Just like that?  Wow.)

U2 will release another incredible album.  It won’t earn the same number of Grammy’s as HTDAB because it’s being released too early in the year.  It’s ok – it will still be great.

Jessica Simpson will attempt her own Brittany-style comeback but won’t succeed. 

Lost will be spectacular.

24 won’t.

Movie theaters will actually lower ticket prices to gain back their departing audience.  I will have only seen blockbusters like Wolverine, Transformers 2 and whatever 2009’s version of There Will Be Blood and other fantastic character performances. 

It won’t matter because everyone will be at home listening to U2. 

Shane Claiborne will give away more, inspire more, and … cut his hair and donate it to “Locks of Love”.

Joel Osteen will make more, “inspire” more and … dye his hair blonde, grow it out and release a Best Life Now calendar, Strength of Samson edition.  In a desperate attempt to stay on television, this will force Dr. Phil to get a toupee.  

Max Lucado will release 3 new books by the time you finish reading this.

Tim LaHaye will begin a writing project focused on a creation called Right Before.  It will be a seven book collection, one for each day and the seventh will be called Rest and the pages will literally be blank.  

The Titans will beat the Eagles in the Super Bowl.  But take heart, the half-time show with Springsteen will be memorable. 

Hockey will gain 3 more fans this year.  I just found out that Eric Lindross is no longer a Flyer.  Well, as long as Gretzky and Lemieux are still playing …  Seriously, until this sport gets back on television, they will gain so few fans a year and non-hockey, but general sports fans will continue to have a limited knowledge of this sport.   Everyone, including myself, says that hockey is great live but does not translate on television.  While that is true of the game play, the storylines must be carried on television too.  And it can’t all be that Sidney Cosby kid (I know, I know).  Credit ESPN for always trying to help this dying sport but they need to get back on real television (by real, I don’t mean the “Versus” channel, KJ).   I actually used to watch hockey before they cancelled the season.  It was on ESPN then. 

The Yankees will win the World Series. We’ve been saying that we needed pitching …  

One of our seminary assignments for Hebrew Poetry and Contemporary Ministry was to write a psalm.  I chose to write one of lament. I meant to post this earlier and must have forgotten.  Found it in my draft folder.

(For those that do not know me, this lament is not autobiographical.  Mine would be boring.) 

 

A Male, Middle-aged, Modernist’s Lament

My ex-wife mocks me before her support group as they sit close on my Italian leather,

               While they laugh at me as they sip their wine.

My children call me by my first name

               While my mother curses my birth,

My church has edited me off its membership list

              While my pastor does not even know my name.

My heart lives in fear of being laid off.

             While my soul is already in recession.

My head is balding, my waist increasing, my savings depleted, my home lost

             While my pride is destroyed. 

My soul aches for belonging

             While I only find new ways to be abandoned.

 

My world has lost its way!

            I have lost my way!

There is no truth, no justice, no compassion, no peace and no love. 

It would have been better to have been aborted than to have entered this reality.

But praise the Lord for His faithfulness

                   For He remembers the broken-hearted.

Mocked by society but encouraged by God.

Disrespected by my own blood, but delivered by the Redeemer.

Forgotten by pastors and parents, but my name is tattooed on the arm of my Lord.

Laid off by employers, but promoted by the Almighty.

Embarrassed by my body but God has healed my soul.

 

Praise the God of second chances.

Praise the Father for not neglecting His children.

Praise the One who never edits, deletes, or forgets His worshippers.

Praise the Provider for in the midst of depression, He gives confidence.

Praise the Lord for hearing my cries and for His comfort.

 

But praise the Lord for His faithfulness