Happy Birthday Susan

Today is my wife Susan’s, birthday.  Every now and then, I think back to what she was thinking when we started dating.  Though it’s hard to imagine, I wasn’t always as amazing as I am now.  In fact, if there was ever a time I could have used a Todd Hiestand re-design, it would have been upon entering freshmen year of college.

Dating Susan was a no-brainer for me but I always imagine her surrounded by dorm friends, pie-charts, plus and minus comparisons, spreadsheets, profile, anaylis, and headshots of other guys, and perhaps a lot of wine at our conservative Christian school trying to navigate the uncharted territory of Christian guys at our school (thank God, I was only up against Christian guys – lol).  Aside from me explaining to her that I was destined to have a lucrative career in youth ministry and that we would have a church van at our immediate disposal (provided that we properly sign it out), I’m not really sure what she was thinking.  Maybe she mooched off her friends too much and their encouragement of me was their revenge.  Maybe her former boyfriends were Kirby vacuum cleaner salesmen, or maybe she is crazier than me and I haven’t realized it yet.  Hmmmm.

Well, it’s been quite the year.  I’ve been saying that a lot lately and I hope (and for all of you) it becomes cliché because it generally means it was a year worth living.  Some of our prayers were answered this year and we’ve entered into a great season of parenthood.  We’re enjoying our church and receiving (and hopefully giving) a lot of love.

For years we’ve had conversations about the will of God and how they may not include our plans and dreams.  We were always convinced that our faith would not waiver for those types of reasons and sought His peace as we journeyed together.  These days, we’re better at doing life, our marriage is stronger, and we’ve been encouraged by God’s goodness once again.  We know that we will be in and out of good and tough seasons but it’s nice to have both kinds of pictures in the scrapbook.

Susan, you have become (and is becoming) an amazing woman.  Your beauty, joy, humor, spirit of forgiveness, and faith are gifts you give each day.  What can I give you on your birthday when material gifts would only dilute these words and my reciprocation wouldn’t measure up?  Still trying to figure that out after all these years, thanks for your patience, I hope our love is enough, Happy Birthday, Susan.  

Reflecting on Competition, the (Christian) American Dream – Post 2

I received a couple of emails and encouraging words of the USA Today post and competition as being part of the problem with our teen-agers.  I’d like to go a little further (which usually only ruins a good point and becomes the blog equivalent of smashing your guitar at the end of the set).

What would it look like if we didn’t put as much pressure on our students?  Before I delve in, here are a few qualifiers:

I am not against competition as a whole, there is fruit in it. 

I believe in personal responsibility and am trying to avoid being overly sympathetic to teenagers and see them as victims.

But I do want “us” (“us” = all from parents, to youth workers, to teachers, to politicians to rock stars, to baristas…) to be faithful to our callings and responsibilities.

I see a couple of questions:  What would it look like if we didn’t put as much pressure on our students?   What kind of dream are we encouraging our students to pursue?  Are we actually leading them (and ourselves) to good, healthy, meaningful lives?  Oh, and how about one more – what is the meaning of life?

My main problem is the “dream” that we sell our kids.  As you know, it goes something like this:  If you get good grades, and are balanced with music, sports, theater, you can gain entrance into a good college, and if you do well there, you can land a great job, marry a great person, get a nice home, vacation wherever you want, and do whatever you want to do.” 
In our Christian homes, we add “and make a commitment to Jesus …” making it the Christian dream. 

I don’t know anyone, literally, who does whatever they want to do.  Even rock-stars don’t do whatever they want.  (Not even if it appears that way on stage).

The dream is a mirage and you can feel free to deconstruct it.  And while I value education and encourage our students to meet their potential, and think SAT prep classes are a good idea, and believe there are many lessons learned in sports, theater, writing in the school newspaper, editing the yearbook, and the numerous other extracurriculars, most of us know that there is more to life.

Though it’s preached in churches, it also makes it’s point in movies like, “Family Man”, “Braveheart”, and even in “Spiderman” (and many others).  And the point is life must have meaning.

If I can transition from our students to “us” as a whole, I’d like to wind down to some kind of conclusion.    Though I believe the aforementioned pursuits and extracurriculars are worthy, important, necessary but only to an extent.  I value education but I also value love. I love athletics but also need the pursuit of peace.  I enjoy being entertained but desire the call to justice. 

Of course, being a youth pastor, I am expected to finish this with a commercial justifying the existence of my position and work.  Don’t fault me too much, I do believe in what I do. 

But this post isn’t intended to convert anyone.  This being a post on the internet, I do not want to presuppose my faith and values on you.  But can we agree that life must have meaning and that our world would be better if we encouraged ourselves and those that come after us to pursue a better dream?  I know as this conversation expands we would have different ideas of that dream and this is among the reasons why we have millions of books, but can we at least agree that the present dream is flawed?